Last day, off. Off meaning not clicking at 100%. Traveling yesterday, didn't have great lunch...or dinner. Long story short, did not manage stipend for the weekend properly. A little bit underrested. A little bit sick. Couldn't get into our social event last evening, thrown off balance again. A good deal frustrated by something I should have expected...internet not great in Niger.
First a note off of a comment from yesterday or the day before. I am also, more now than even during the year I was home, gaining great respect for people who stay home...their house home, their home town, homestate, home country to make these places better. The woman at AAA asked me, when I told her I was doing Peace Corps in Niger, why don't we work in places that need it in America? Many times, we/ people get excited from someone from, for example, Africa, makes it out to America and builds a good life for himself. But, if this was the rule, that the most successful partook in an exodus to more developed countries, countries like Niger would be bleeding talent in a variety of domains. Or, as another example, to reference Mountains Beyond Mountains again, Farmer never really sees his family. For me, I have wondered, how many little kids do I need to inspire to make up for leaving my little sisters behind? How many projects do I need to complete to make up for the unfinished business in America? How much of a contribution to my host village will make up for the insane amount of financial and other support given to me by my family and friends, across my whole life, but specificaly in preparation for this trip? How present do I have to be in my daily life here to make up for ditching out on everyone at home?
Strange time now. We have some internet in Niamey en route back to the training site. Trying to cram in uploading my blog posts, checking emails, really really want to send out email to all people I wanted to tell about the blog (task left over from staging that should have been done before I left), was hoping to catch someone on skype or gchat, but...internet terrible. Tasks which takes only a few moments or minutes, here may not even be possible. It's a tease, kind of stressful. To be able to have some connectedness to home, but have it not really...working....is an awkward position. Off balance. Would maybe be the best way to describe it. Don't want to leave this oasis of connectivity to home without completing all my "to-do's", but doing so is...not what I'm here for. Feel I'm betraying my fellow trainees or my purpose here. Something like that.
With the traveling of the past day or so, been fairly hungry. Trying to be economical with the money. A thought. We live like kings here. It's a pretty fun adventure, perhaps partly we live like kings. Being hungry, counting coins, as if this even compares to what they have to worry about...much much closer to daily life here than the ease with which I usually eat what I want or buy breakfast every morning. Privilidge, even here. And I'm ashamedly not very pumped about getting a taste of being not qutie full so to speak, because I would much prefer to have a nice big lunch if I want it.
Hey man!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you are doing well. Don't worry about the stomach issues, you'll adjust. You might find that even traveling to other volunteer's sites, the cities, or even back to the US causes another stomach adjustment as you get used to the water and food.
For running, I wouldn't worry about standing out. You are the weird American anyway, flaunt it. You are there you share your culture just as much as you are there to learn about theirs.
Take advantage of the TV and kids - they are both great ways to get language practice.
There is no prize for most rugged, most native, or most projects. Take advantage of the opportunities, but don't feel bad for being who you are or not changing the world.
Keep it up man!
James