le 29 novembre 2010

I have...
- after a week off of running, resumed "full" morning sched of running and cals
- felt most of the day the dummest Zarma student in my new class
- felt pretty tired, perhaps a residual effect from the past few days
- enjoyed a view from the edge of town that is...just nice. More green, small village in the near distance, some hill/ mesas in the background. Something that almost looks like a river by the small town. Sunlight shining intensely off of metal roofs, themselves a mark of better times.
- visited a clinic, a Koranic and FR school, a mosque, the chef of the village during our village tour
- wanted to not make dinner ourselves and just accept whatever our hosts would make for us to save the time and hassle and use the time to organize my Zarma notes more.
- felt a hell of a lot of pressure to learn a hell of a lot of Zarma hella fast. This combined with feeling inferior to my new classmates has me feeling very tight, and I'm much better loose. I need to ease the pressure I'm putting on myself, relax, and just absorb what I can without worrying about maximizing every fleeting second.
- wanted the familiar routine of the past few weeks back


I have not...
- felt I used more Zarma on language immersion than during a normal day. In fact, today I feel I used less than a regular non core day.
- gained any more personal time and space, though I was able to study in public (which I never do) for a few hours. I'm writing this note in public also.
- (this coming from other stuff but was reminded yesterday and today) decided if route memorization, which I am told is common practice in the schools does a disservice to the students. As a fan of creative and critical thinking, I have a hard time believing a myopic emphasis on memorization is best, but I don't have enough exposure to schools to know what they actually do.
- (again a note from days past as well) decided if Koranic schools are benificial. Again, I'm not exactly sure what happens in these schools, but on one end, students may simply just memorize the Koran without really learning a whole lot about what it means and on the other end, students may learn Arabic. I tried to clarify last week whether students who attend Koranic school also attend "regular" school, and I was told yes, that Koranic school is a more evening/ Sunday school program, but from the Koranic schools I've seen, it seems to be an either or choice. If this is true, I'm not sure a Koranic school is the best educational option.
- gotten my Achilles' clean. I can't get dirt/ sand off my Achilles. Sometimes it seems as though my wrist also just will not come clean, but maybe I am tanning there some.
- peed blood during the morning run. I deem myself cured of that mystery ailment, so I can safely mention it now without worrying anyone.

The picture that will never be taken: I ran 8 minutes out away from the village this morning along the sand road leading out of town. We're up on a small mesa I think, becuase looking out across the landscape, we are a bit elevated. Some mist still hung at an impercievable distance, and on the way out, the sun was rising to my left, leading me to look mostly to the right. Again, this area is much greener than the town where we do the rest of training, and trees are sparse but regular along the landscape. Barmas (the small huts that are used to store grain) are here and there. Goats gnaw at some grass at various points, some seem to be running away from me, and I worry about chasing someone's goats out of town. I imagine someone taking a picture of me in a bottom corner, barely noticable in the broad expanse and the glare of the rising sun into the camera. Or perhaps taking the picture vertically, with my running body buried under a vast expanse of sky and the blinding light of the rising sun. I wonder how my form has deterioted from the time off. I wish again for fitness to maintain rather than to gain. But of course, the camera can lie, and a picture taken could show a runner with seemingly great fitness easily galloping across the African landscape. On this day of course, this runner shuffles along for a paultry 15 min, the runner appreciates the landscape, but remains uncomfortable in his new, though temporary, post and entirely confused and uncertain about his place amidst this scenery for the longterm. But the picture, if it could be taken, would show only beauty and not doubts. Unfortunately, this picture, and all of those like it, will never be taken.