I have...
- thought several times over the last week about how this week has been the most "difficult" of PST and how thinking about other people having to endure difficult times as well can give me strength. In my journal last night, I wrote (you can tell I'm cool when I cannot help but quote/ paraphrase myself): Another trainee called language immersion boot camp and I agree we're busy and it's hard, but then hours later I thought...boot camp? We're tired, we sleep 8-11 hours/ night. Food is mostly made for us. Despite some walking around and the challenge of staying healthy in the first place, there are really no physical demands on us. If all the peeps in the armed forces can endure REAL hell week, boot camp, 1st year at West Point, their years of service, tours of duty in a place like Iraq...surely, I can endure a few weeks of "lang immersion" and two peaceful years in a peaceful village in the poorest country in the world where I will live like a king. I mean, sometimes even here, we forget how lucky we are and how much more we can give. Three hours of sleep and 10 hours of classes- THAT would be hell, especially if the chances of being sent home for failing were high instead of 0% for my class. Easy or hard, seemingly bearable or not, these will be my years of challenge and, hopefully, growth. Formative in the sense that I will draw on these experiences and the strength they imbued in me for the rest of my life. I WILL HAVE BEEN in worse situations.
- (a few days ago) was very disapointed when we got some juice mix. I figured, a bad juice mix is like Cool-Aid...which tastes awesome. This juice was like...1/2 nasty. I drank 300ml and tossed the rest. Then cleaned out my water bottle. Major, major letdown.
- (two days ago) been offered a ride by a little kid riding a cow cart while I was running. I said "Ay go zuru, wala?" (I'm running, ya?) to say "Does it look like I need a ride?". That was really nice of him to offer though. I could have been running the 8k to Falme or the many more k to the paved road that leads to Dosso. Then I probs would have wanted a ride...
- run in long sleeve shirt oven my t-shirt (again). This morning I actually wanted my gloves that I left at the training site. I also errounsouly thought, as I started run, "I bet I can see my breath". It's probs like 50-60's here in the morning, for the record.
- gotten super tired from posting blogs, uploading pics, trying to reach fam. Always feel there are a million quick little things to catch up on when I'm connected to the world.
- started to dread showers because it's pretty cool out at night and in the morning when I would shower and if the water doesn't boil during the day, one is taking a cold shower in the relative cold. Jam. I am told (some?) Nigeriens shower less during the cold season.
- worried I spend too much time writing and posting blog notes, taking and uploading pictures, thinking and jotting down notes, journaling, and thinking in general
- given all the notes, journal entries, and posts, wondered if maybe I could settle in to being a journalist. This added to the list of a million other options I've entertained since graduating. This one will seem more legit because I've taken the time to write it down, but I've entertained a million of these fleeting ideas.
- enjoyed a wondeful egg sandwiche (two) for lunch
- been some incredulous that several groups "got more done" during than immersion than we did. Yet again, one is humbled to find that no matter how hard you feel you're working, someone (or many people) are working as hard or harder than you...and doing more and doing better.
I have not..
- had my long awaited orange soda. Hostel out. Major letdown
- had a proper convo with my family. Super frustrating
- decided if I will cut my hair tomorrow when returning back to training site
- shaved. I really hate shaving.
- been able to wrap my mind around being in a village...by myself...for two years
- been able to exactly articulate to myself what the overall plan here is, where exactly I'm looking to go with all this
- gone out to eat as planned. Been overly excitable (or even very sociable) with the group as planned. Needs some organizational time from time to time I guess.
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