Today
I have...
- showered for the first time in 2 days with soap
- been smoked out of our class. My friend's family tosses their trash over the wall into the compound where the school is. Today some students burned the garbage (that's how they get rid of garbage here) and the wind was such that all the smoke blew into my friends concession where we were having class. After breathing through shirts for a bit, we moved to the concession next door, but the smell was still pretty intense. I took off my undershirt to wrap around my mouth. I couldn't shake the smell in my nose for a few hours.
- felt some...maybe dissapointed in myself? maybe not that strong...for trying to really take the time to disegnage from all the other work going on and focus on Christmas stuff or just relaxing because...two guys were talking to one of our supervisors (I had earlier briefly, but no work past 3) and two other guys made their family a cookstove, they did today so they would have time to finish the project before we move out of our host families on Mon.
- had a great Zarma moment. Went to buy egg sandwiches. When I get them in the afternoons, the same guys are around (they just sit on benches by the egg sandwich guy), so I talked to them some. We joked about me being married, etc. I'm pretty good sparring on this topic. A new guy was making the egg sandiwches. He charged me 500, and I said it's always 400, with some tonko, no mayo, two eggs. I gave him 500, said no prob, but it's always 400. The other guys essentially said I was right and kinda of apologized to me and the guy caved under peer pressure and gave me the 100 change. I felt this is a super great sign that I "intergrated". They had complemented my Zarma previously. I joked that I have intelligence "kinda kinda", I was trying to say I'm not a fool, and they said I have lots of intelligence. Another great example of how integrating into the community keeps you safe (to a point of course). I thought it was a great moments.
- really enjoyed the few hours by myself wrapping my presents. Feel real good about the presents to my host fam, my secret santa present, and a random present or two. I've tried to be really generous, to easy my guilt about having so many gifts shipped to me and inherently having so much more priviledge than pretty much everyone in this country.
- taken time out of the evening festivities to write this blog post
- had a...memorable moment with our training director. I left the dinner area to grab my camera and try to find a pic, and our training director was sitting pretty much all by himself under the hangar where we usually meet. It looked like he was just relaxing...away from everyone. I had also wanted to just kinda sit and relax...without much stimulation. I asked him how he was. Felt I was not being UNinvited to sit, so I sat with him to share in the moments of relaxing. He complimented my public speaking, ability to play the crowd and I was flattered. I shot it back at him. We sat in silence for a few moments. Shared some comments about Christmas here and Christmas in America. Then other people came and I felt like the moment of tranquility amidst the rush was lost, but for a few moments, I felt I had earned a spot to share that kind of moment with one of the most impressive persons I have ever worked under/with, etc.
- as usual, had Christmas carols segway into...a few hours maybe?!!...of more brainstorming over our wildly inappropraite rap in Zarma. Mad mad mad laughs. On the board, someone wrote "The Joys" of something, and people wrote their little joys under it, and I wrote "mad laughs and shenanigans" because I love it. The country director was around, and we were kinda safe because not many people understand Zarma or our rap, but then we played two wildly inappropriate songs in English...and that may have been a little bit of an oops. Mad laughts, mad people insulted maybe. Not sure who or how much. Jam sasabante. If I wasn't doing ANY core work, my stomach would get some work from laughing.
I have not...
- decided if being away from friends, family, and the old safe routines makes one MORE aware of things like Christmas or LESS aware. Today, we had class in the A.M. Besides for buying gifts in the market on Tues and making lots of notes, I didn't do any real preparation until three o'clock this afternoon, when I took a few hours to wrap all the presents. Then it kinda felt like Christmas. But that was the height of it. I want to try to get a pic of the Christmas tree, with the intense Niger sun either rising or setting in the background. I think that picture would articulate the Christmas experience here. But then during carols, I thought how nice it is to have all family and friends around, to be in a safe space in which you are entirely comfortable and can relax. I def take the holidays for granted at home, many times feel the need to work through them, but then here, I appreciate taking the time to relax and spend time with friends and fam. So, in some ways, I feel Christmas less, but in others I feel Christmas more.
- have not felt particularly homesick. Maybe because had enough to keep me busy, and I'm so far removed, it doesn't feel like I'm actually missing anything.
A few scences from today's Christmas Eve.
I took over a small classroom booca to wrap presents. In one of the nearby classroom boocas two girls with beautiful voices were practicing carols for the evening. With the background music, I felt again like....well, let me come at this from another way. When you read books or see movies, you imagine or experience these scenes...but when you are in these scenes of course you don't really feel like an epic or you don't really feel like a protagonist, you just know that what you're doing is really hard or your too engaged to notice that you're doing or trying to do something big. But with the background music, again juxtaposed to the setting, I was reminded, oh yea, I'm in Africa, even in the Peace Corps....I'm doing it. I am the protagonist in my own story, and right now, my story has a score. Apprehensive about the days to come, but for now, a go ga te (it's going).
Or, you have a weird feeling like....the moment SHOULD be a big moment, but you don't actually vicerally experience it. So, the group sang carols, sometimes as a group, and sometimes only the few girls with really good voices. And listening to beautiful Christmas carols, a few days away from moving to site, towards the end of the past few months of pretty hard work...I felt I should have some profound thoughts or be very emotional, but none. We were singing Christmas carols...I guess it's Christmas?
Merry Christmas eve everyone!
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